Was that some kind of joke? #AQAbiology

Bio montageIt’s that time of year again when our teenagers show themselves to be a social media savvy lot with wit, intelligence and humour which will stand them in good stead for their future. A good job if the AQA biology paper is anything to go by.

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Just a few hours after the exam was taken around 29k tweets #AQAbiology saw the exam trending on Twitter and just an hour later, it had almost doubled to more than 56k. A mere three-and-half hours after the exam was taken and we’re up to 80k!

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With your drunken rats and underage drinkers, AQA, you really have kicked up quite a storm.

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Our year 11s were not happy! And who can blame them? What with the 15-year-olds taking to the bottle along with the rats, stripy snails and independent companies, to sum up but a few of the questions, the exam appeared to bear little resemblance to the syllabus.

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However, the repartee of our 15 and 16-year-olds certainly outshone the thinking behind the exam. It was sophisticated, sardonic, sarcastic, scornful, cutting, cynical and, from the sounds of it, on the nail.

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Last year it was the Edexcel maths exam and Hannah’s sweets that had the nation’s GCSE students taking to Twitter, this year and the exam season is barely underway and it was AQA biology.

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It would be absolutely hilarious apart from the fact my daughter was among the thousands who took the exam. If this exam is anything to go by, we may have to rethink her sixth form options, she needs an average of eight Bs to qualify.

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No wonder the UK is slipping in the world’s education league. And it’s nothing to do with the teachers and the students; the fault seems to lie entirely with the exam board.


Perhaps, I suggested to my daughter (with a friend on the phone saying ‘what the fuck was all that about?’), they are testing you on how you apply your knowledge. ‘What,’ she literally burst with indignation and was incandescent with rage, “has an independent company got to do with biology?” Errr, I don’t actually know. At least it was only worth one point.


The question on underage boozing seems to have our teenage drinking problem now spiralling out of control with all our 16-year-olds reaching for the bottle. According to Twitter, this year’s AQA biology exam was more like a hybrid of maths and business with a bit of PE thrown in – the six mark question was on healthy eating, perhaps she managed to make up a few points there!

AQA 12When it comes to applying for university places and jobs, prospective employers and principles would perhaps do better to trawl through the Twitter posts as it appears to be a much better indication of the intelligence of our 16-year-olds than their GCSEs.

Now, having just cooked tea and returned to edit this post, I have had a light bulb moment.

Perhaps I can allay all your fears. Ok, so we could have an examiner out there who really needs help with his or her apparent issue with alcohol, but, behold, I think I have the answer!

Just like teachers, students and parents, the exam boards are sick to the back teeth of the government’s continual meddling with education and obsession with exams that they are having a maverick moment. AQA has (and I am sure I must be right) created a completely ridiculous exam and as such will have to set the grade boundaries lower than a world record-breaking limbo pole so it’ll be A*s all round! Phew, for a moment I was worried!


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